ASS HOLE OF THE MONTH – AUGUST

KOH TSU KOON

We have a tough time deciding whether it should be Perkasa chief Ibrahim Ali or the wimpy Koh Tsu Koon. Ibrahim Ali was originally an obvious choice for offering a miserable and pathetic RM5,000 award to UiTM. The winner would be picked for nationalistic achievement. In short, Malay racist attitude.

But most of us have had enough of Ibrahim Ali, he is a has-been politician who has joined every Malay political party. We still do not know how he managed to convince the Great Tok Guru Nik Aziz Nik Mat to let him contest under a PAS ticket. Goes to show that the Spiritual Leader is an ordinary man with plenty of flaws and poor judgement. This has to one of his greatest political error. Or could Ibrahim Ali be a planted spy for Umno? He must be the greatest liability to the Barisan Nasional. Umno has said they have nothing to do with him. Nazri Aziz said it would be ridiculous for Umno to depend on this political frog. Sir, we wonder too, like many Malaysians.

But since Ibrahim has spoiled the breakfast of many Malaysians with his sheer stupidity, we felt that there is another deserving case – Koh Tsu Koon. He has been really overlooked.

Malaysians puked each time they see his nerdy face appeared in the newspapers. They see him sticking his face, his body, his hands, his leg and even a toe, if the need arises, to be with the Prime Minister. He is so desperate to have his face appear next to Najib Razak that we think he needs medical treatment. It has to be a mental disorder.  He is surely a much insecured man.

We hope the PM would see it fit to dump him soon. After 18 years as CM in Penang – where he slept his way though in the office beside plotting to have his picture taken next to Dr Mahathir, Pak Lah and Najib – surely he can’t be asking Penangites for another chance!  Penangites will give him the middle finger. Being the great suck up that he is, there are enough documentary evidence to show he used to heap praises on Anwar Ibrahim. He is lucky that he did not become a victim of Anwar.

Needless to say, Koh Tsu Koon has gone on to curry favour with the PM. In Malaysian lingo, it’s called “to jack” his boss. He was invited to join the PM to meet the Pope recently – even though he is not a Christian. He didn’t even study in a Catholic mission school. He studied in Chung Ling High School and certainly he does not know the Bible enough to represent the Christians. At least, Bernard Dompok had good reasons to be there. Even the Islamic council officials like Jakim deserves to be there.

We are told that he is given the job of tracking the KPIs of other Ministers. Please lah. Can you imagine how the other Cabinets feel? Do you think they will respect him? He is keeping his job because he is a Gerakan president. That’s all. We seem to be rewarding people for their party positions and not their talent. In this case, it is the lacked talent.

So, our pick for this month is Koh Tsu Koon. He is said to be eyeing a seat in Kuala Lumpur now. God forbid.